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Considerable learning and growth have occurred for me these past few years while preparing to open our pole dance fitness studio, BEAUTIFUL BODIES. I pushed through frustration, sadness, pain, and an abundance amount of stress with all the many uncontrollable setbacks. But, I always knew, and reminded myself often, that the light at the end of the tunnel would come when the time was right, and all the emotions I experienced would be worth it. After PERSEVERING through these setbacks for almost two years, excitement, happiness, relief, and achievement finally transpired. In October 2022, Beautiful Bodies Pole Dance Fitness officially opened its new pole studio in Surprise, Arizona.
Of the many lessons I have learned throughout this process, I am going to emphasize certain experiences and insights most valuable to me. With that, I hope you can apply these lessons learned to your own life and life's encounters.
REALIZE THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR PATH IN LIFE.
No one, except YOU, can steer the wheel of your own life. As an adult, we must CHOOSE how we want to grow, who we want to be, what talents we have and can learn, how we treat others, who we surround ourselves with, how we heal through past or present trauma, and ultimately, what allows us to feel happiness.
I have seen time and time again, the faults and blame we place on others, as to not take responsibility for the outcome that occurred. As humans, we do not like to admit we make mistakes or fail at anything, so we point fingers at someone or something else as the cause. We are all guilty of this. But what do we do about it? We learn to change how we react to the negative experiences or setbacks we face each day by becoming PROACTIVE IN OUR RESPONSES. We become proactive by breathing and taking a step back, evaluating the situation, taking responsibility of a mistake when necessary, logically finding the best solution, and moving forward. The only person who can change the way you react and ultimately, become proactive, is yourself. You are responsible for and control your mental space, as well as the words that you speak. In any given situation, it is best to provide your head with clarity and accountability, so you can respond with reason. Others will respect you for this, too.
I could have blamed so many people or situations for the year delay of opening Beautiful Bodies, but in the end, I had zero control over majority of the delays that happened. Yes, I did get frustrated and at times wanted to point fingers, but, that did not make me feel better or change the given situation. Instead, I reminded myself of the things I could control at that time and focused my energy and attention there. That alone, was much more beneficial than finding reasons to be upset or angry. OUR MINDS ARE SO POWERFUL, so let's learn to create a positive and productive headspace; and over time, you will notice a shift in greater happiness and fulfillment in yourself and in the choices you make for your life.
UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERYONE WILL BE CHEERING YOU ON.
Unfortunately, not everyone will support you and your decisions, even if they are positive and empowering decisions. For all of us, this includes our family members, friends, and peers. Those you are close to may struggle when you show signs of success or are improving your situation/lifestyle. Over the past few years, I have come to realize who my true friends and supportive family members are. I have also discovered that as I have succeeded in opening our first Beautiful Bodies location, I have created 'enemies'; many of whom I have not even met face-to-face. This fact has always bothered me. I have never understood why individuals want to bring you down as soon as you begin to strive toward your greater potential. However, I remind myself that their actions and words toward me are not a reflection of me, but rather a reflection of how they feel about themselves. When I encounter these individuals, I encourage them to look deep into themselves and their BEHAVIOR so they too, can CHANGE THEIR MINDSET and their circumstances. But, it is only receptive if they truly acknowledge their behavior and want to change.
Regardless of who, I believe it is important to HAVE SYMPATHY for these individuals; because as you have worked hard to create a more fulfilling life, they may be stuck in a place where they may not know who they truly are, what they want or desire in life, or where they want to put their energy long-term. And this place can be frightening, especially if they do not have a healthy support system or stable living environment. If you personally know individuals like this and are regularly associated with them, love them and teach them how to grow. This will take time; steering their focus and energy toward PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT will give them a great start in altering the way they view themselves and their life. I recommend books and podcasts as a great resource.
If you do not personally know these individuals, but they are creating (online) conflict, be kind back, but also do not allow that type of negative behavior in your life; especially from people you do not know. Remind yourself that they are likely having a hard time and projecting their own frustrations onto your betterment. DO NOT REACT to them; BE KIND anyways and then move on.
EMBRACE BEING DIFFERENT THAN OTHERS.
Personally and professionally, it is important to be your own UNIQUE SELF. Blending in and trying to do the same things as others do will only keep you stagnant in life; and feeling like you are moving through the motions without aim.
Being my own individual self, I do not want to be like anyone else. However, I did not always think this way, as I used to compare myself to others and it affected me quite negatively. As I have been on my own personal development journey, I have realized that we are all individually unique, have our own TALENTS, STRENGTHS, and PASSIONS; and with those strengths and talents, we can MAKE A DIFFERENCE in our family, social groups, and community. If we are all doing the same things, growth will not transpire and we become stationary.
As an instructor, I often encourage my students to NEVER COMPARE themselves to one another; as it holds no truth to the person they are or what they are capable of accomplishing. Making comparisons only shines a light on the negative feelings or doubts a person experiences about themselves. Learning to 'compare' oneself to only oneself is the key. We should only compare who we are today to who were we yesterday, in order to assess where we want to be in the future. This is the only healthy comparison we can make.
In terms of business, being different sets our brand apart from other studios in the pole dance fitness industry, especially locally. Creating a business model that REFLECTS MY VALUES and health/wellness EDUCATION is what makes Beautiful Bodies unique. As a business owner and manager, I take the necessary steps to ensure that every single student that walks into our studio feels welcomed, accepted, loved, and valued. We want everyone to FEEL AT HOME, no matter their background or current state of living. We strive for our students to GROW physically, mentally, and emotionally; and we GUIDE them during their process of personal growth and discovery. At Beautiful Bodies, we want everyone to explore and find their personal meaning of happiness. If this sounds like a place (and family) you want to be a part of, join us today!
SET YOUR UNIQUE STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS.
This is also important both personally and professionally. In both instances, you should BE TRUE to the specific values and standards you have determined for yourself.
On an individual level, when you are true to your standards, and do not alter them for any reason or another person, you are prioritizing your PERSONAL INTEGRITY AND SELF-WORTH. Others will respect you for being sincere, genuine, and honest. And over time, as you are consistent in your actions and thoughts pertaining to your standards and values, you will experience a sense of freedom; as you know who you are, what you stand for, and who you will closely associate with. You are staying true to yourself.
For a business as a whole, it is pertinent to KEEP KEY STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS CONSISTENT. As an owner/manager, it is my responsibility to ensure that the values, standards, and expectations that are significant and necessary to our studio's MISSION are in full effect each day, during every class, and for each person. This is ultimately known as our BRAND. This uniformity will allow Beautiful Bodies to grow and flourish; and allow us to expand when the time is right. All new, current, and future students will know who we are and what we aim to do for all our students when they hear our studio's name; for we are continually holding true and EMBRACING THE ENTIRETY OF OUR UNIQUE BRAND.
CONTINUE TO EDUCATE YOURSELF IN YOUR AREAS OF SPECIALIZATION.
Continuing your education in the given profession you have chosen is pivotal. First, WE SHOULD ALL ACQUIRE NEW KNOWLEDGE DAILY, as this is very significant for our brain function and growth. Reading regularly is a great tool for development and should be implemented daily. Second, STAYING CURRENT WITH THE LATEST SPECIFICATIONS IN YOUR PROFESSIONAL FIELD ARE NECESSARY, especially in fields where you are teaching others a particular skill or practice. By providing ourselves with the most updated research and techniques, we are keeping others safe and properly educated.
In the health, fitness, and wellness field, we must remain present with ongoing research and practices for what we specialize in. If we are not habitually learning and growing ourselves, how can we properly educate those we teach and guide?
At Beautiful Bodies, all our instructors are required to maintain their specific certifications and credentials, through obtaining continual education credits (CEC's). All our instructors are certified through the Pole Fitness Alliance (PFA); which requires CEC's every year. Some of our instructors are ACE Certified Personal Trainers; which is an organization accredited by the NCCA (National Commission for Certifying Agencies). The Pole Fitness Alliance will soon be the only pole certification that is accredited by the NCCA. We also have instructors that are certified through Holistic Health and Nutrition organizations. Beautiful Bodies is unique as it REQUIRES ITS INSTRUCTORS TO HOLD HIGHER STANDARDS OF EDUCATION. We want only the best for our instructors and our students. We advocate for an atmosphere of safety, unity, structure, and consistency; all of which come from exercising continual education. If you wish to become pole certified yourself, we welcome new instructors and certify here, at Beautiful Bodies. You can also learn further on the importance of being certified by reading our previous blog post.
REJOICE IN YOUR SUCCESS.
When it comes to experiencing victories in your life, REJOICE over them! You should be pleased with all the things you accomplish, whether big or small. Be HAPPY. Be EXCITED. Be TRIUMPHANT. When you work your ass off to accomplish the aspirations and goals you have set for yourself, you should share them with others; especially your close friends, family, and peers. Be PROUD of you and your abilities.
There should not be a reason where you feel reserved and not share your success with those around you. However, you will encounter moments where other people do not share in your joy, and that is okay. This lack of excitement on their part has nothing to do with you; it has everything to do with them and their present life situation. They could be feeling emotions related to jealousy, envy, frustration, sadness, lack of self-worth, not knowing/appreciating who they are, and so many more. Just remember that these feeling they have are not a reflection of you or what you have accomplished. As a good person, just support them in what they are experiencing, but DO NOT ALLOW THEIR SITUATION AND FEELINGS TO NEGATIVELY AFFECT YOUR AMBITION OR ACHIEVEMENTS. Allow them to feel, but also teach them how to grow so they don't feel 'stuck' in their own life or future. ALWAYS BE THE LIGHT.
To wrap up, remember that you are going places! Setbacks do happen, people can be mean, and you cannot control everything; but you can control how you respond and the direction you travel in. Go for greatness no matter what you do in life. YOU ARE WORTHY AND CAPABLE of anything.
With much love,
Bree Fernelius